Silence and Pain

So many people have pain, whether it is emotional and/or physical pain, that is kept hidden inside and is rarely ever discussed. When pain is kept hidden it can create an environment that produces more pain and possible dis-ease. As humans, we all have a need to be understood. This need is overridden by the post-modern attitude that we keep silent. The only way to truly be understood is to communicate our pain to others. This is incredibly difficult for many of us.


We need to build trust and a safe space to communicate with the ones we care about. Only in a safe environment, that is built upon compassion and empathy, can true communication thrive. Active listening and reflecting, using non-judgmental language, clearly stating our needs and feelings will facilitate a loving and compassionate connection which will enhance and strengthen communication.

Love is the foundation on which we build our sense of safety and security. To love oneself is the first step to understanding. In knowing ourselves, our emotions, our feelings, we can clearly communicate to ourselves first. Once we are aware of our emotions and needs, we can then clearly communicate them to others. Being heard is incredibly important for all of us. To be understood is a basic need we all have.

Too many people suffer needlessly, simply because society says that silence is strength.


But to be silent in the face of pain is overwhelming. Many of us suffer because we fear being vulnerable, or because we have been shut down by others in our past. Fear causes many to lash out in anger. Anger often makes things worse. But anger can also be transformative. Once we realize where the anger is coming from then we can transform our anger into understanding.

Clear, open, needs based communication is the key to having successful conversations that deal with any and all situations, not just pain, not just anguish and depression. Everyone of us needs to be heard, to be validated, to be understood. Use compassion in speaking and listening. Be compassionate to yourself and to all others. Come from a place of love when dealing with another person. Let´s let love and compassion be the guideposts to better communication.

4 thoughts on “Silence and Pain”

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